Sunday 20th November

And then as sure as night follows day along came Harriet…

She wasn’t thinking about getting pregnant at all.  She and Phil had talked about children of course, and she’d had to agree with him that it was better to wait a bit until they were settled financially.  They were careful too and used ‘Johnnies’ all the time, but once or twice they forgot, in their impatience, and then suddenly half way through she would bang him on the shoulder and say “Phil, we aren’t using anything, hadn’t we better stop.”  But, of course, he didn’t; a charging bull would have been easier to stop.

But worse than this by far was her utter stupidity in starting to see Ted again.  It had started at her sister Julie’s wedding which was about a year after her own.  Ted was right when he said he was going to marry Julie but June was never sure if it was because he loved her sister, or just wanted to get back close to her.  There was always that air of unfinished business between them, and her stomach still churned whenever she saw him; she wondered if his did too. They had a bigger wedding than Phil and her, but then they were only moving into a council house whereas Phil already had his eye on house number two.  The reception was in Stowupland Village Hall, and very pretty it looked, all decked out with long tables and white cloths and flowers and the cake in pride of place.  June tried to convince herself that she was really happy for Julie, if somewhat jealous too.  And not only of her grand wedding: Ted was great in bed, or had been with her, she couldn’t deny him that.  She kept wondering if he was that good with her sister, and even though she’d drunk a bit too much she couldn’t quite get those thoughts out of her head.

After the meal there was dancing to a small band from Colchester, it must have cost quite a bit, they were good and they really swung.  Everyone was up and dancing, even Phil, the worst dancer in the world joined his wife for a waltz, but mostly he was at the bar, chatting to the older men; building up his little network.  Phil was one of those men who just end up knowing everyone and all their business too, he wasn’t nosey, but had a way of relaxing people and getting them to talk to him – very handy as a solicitor in a small town. Later, June was dancing a foxtrot with Ted, and as they spun across the floor he leaned in close and said in that quiet but deep voice of his.

“We never danced, you and me, did we June?” And then almost in a whisper he added “We did everything else though, didn’t we?”

“And now you’re doing all that with my sister, does that excite you then?” she whispered back into his ear, only inches from her face.

“Not as much as the thought that it used to be you I was doing it with.”

“Now that’s naughty, you know that, don’t you.” And she tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

“Naughty or not I’d do it again in the blink of an eye, I would.” He whispered into her ear.

“And who says you’ll ever get the chance, Ted Wasp.” she whispered back at him, her whole body tingling with excitement.  It was her sister’s wedding and here she was exchanging sexy chit-chat with her husband who used to be her own lover and not a soul apart from the two of them had any idea.

“You don’t have to say anything; I can see it in the way you looks’ at me that you want me as much as I want you.”  And he tried to pull her closer to him.

“Well, why the hell did you marry my sister if you still wanted me?” she pulled back and turned on him.  She was really annoyed with his teasing by now.  He didn’t have to let her know he still wanted her, he could have just said nothing.  “Just what the hell do you think you are doing?”

“Oh, I likes your sister alright, and a man has to get married you know, besides this way I’ll always be near to you.  You know that don’t you.  I’ll always be here for you, married woman that you are or not, and to your smart Solicitor too.”

Suddenly June realised that neither of them had noticed the band had stopped and they were the last couple on the dance-floor.  “I have to go now Ted, the dance is over.”

And they left it there, but he had planted this little seed in her mind, well, to tell the truth it had never gone away.  You never really get over your first love do you?  Nothing is ever that intense again, nothing means that much to you as that first love did.  And so, stupidly, she kept bumping into Ted, well she could hardly help it, he was married to her sister, but she deliberately kept finding herself alone with him. They came round to Phil and June’s one time just as they were moving into the big house, and there were lots of empty rooms that they didn’t even have furniture for. June found some excuse for following Ted upstairs while Julie and Phil were looking over the garden and of course before they knew it they were kissing and he had his hand up her skirt.  June was so excited and he had been so quick, sweeping her into his arms and she did nothing to stop that quick and rough hand which seemed to know exactly where she wanted him to put it.  ‘Home again’, she thought momentarily, and at that moment she was sure they would end up as lovers again. She told herself that if she just did it once again with Ted it would get him out of her system, she couldn’t keep on teasing herself like this, it was getting ridiculous, she was thinking about him all the time, even when she was with Phil.