Wednesday 20th January

One would have thought that very often they are one and the same but appearances can be deceptive.  I have found that pedestrians change into another beast altogether when they get behind the wheel and they instantly forget the frustrations and annoyances they had when they were mere walkers and seem intent on making them worse for all those unfortunate enough to remain bi-pedal.

I am sure that it must be just as frustrating for car drivers, and here I must interject that years ago I failed my test and remain a happy/unhappy walker, when a stupid pedestrian decides that they want to cross the road, even at a pedestrian crossing; after all, you have to apply the brakes, depress the clutch pedal and change gear and wait while the stupid individual ambles casually across the road, and this is entirely understandable as it must add all of twenty seconds to your journey time.

But as a pedestrian I have to ask of you car-drivers why you delight in splashing us by driving through roadside puddles at speed.  And why when we decide to cross the road at a crossing-less place do you vary your speed to frustrate us; either speeding up as if you are on the second row of the grid and trying to overtake pole, or even more frustratingly slowing down and giving every indication of stopping only to speed up as we tentatively place a foot into the road.  Then there is the indicator game which car drivers play simply to annoy us; at a junction where they know completely which turning they are taking they delight in not sharing this information with simple pedestrians who have to wait patiently as the indicator-less driver smiles as he decides which corner to turn into.  But by far the worst are the kerb-crawlers.  Now, even in my wildest dreams have I ever looked like a hooker, sexy as I might be, and yet I am constantly beset by drivers who purr along a couple of yards behind me, often for a hundred yards or so and despite my menacing glances over my shoulder keep just two yards behind with a benign smile on their faces only to speed off as soon as I actually stop and turn to confront them.  Exactly what pleasure they get out of this I have no idea but as they do not actually park up and exit their vehicles I can only assume it is one more symptom of car-drivers perpetual hatred of any person poor or stupid enough to not be behind the wheel of their own vehicle.