Thursday 15th December
Since being on my own again I have hardly been out really, a couple of small dinner parties, but no real events. It isn’t the meeting people I fear but the inevitable questions, that sympathetic look in their eyes, which I really do not know how to react to. I know they are only being kind, but in a funny way I would rather they simply said nothing. What can you say when they ask “How are you? How are you coping?” All you can say is “Not so bad thanks” or “I’m alright thanks”. They do not really want to hear that you are unhappy, and likewise they would be appalled to think that you have gotten over it completely, so you cannot win either way. Better to say nothing and let them make their own minds up. They will anyway.
Last night though I went with a few fiends to a Charity Christmas Concert at St. John’s in Smith Square, Westminster. And actually it was delightful. I had almost forgotten how good live music is, and we had wonderful seats, three rows from the front; so close you could see the delicate fingering of the first violin and almost reach out and touch the cello’s. The orchestra were in fine form and actually seemed to be enjoying themselves as they rattled through a wide selection of fairly short and varied pieces, a clever choice as many in the audience would not be great fans of classical music anyway I suspect. They even slipped in some film music in the shape of The Magnificent Seven and The Dambusters Theme, so there was really something for everyone.
A children’s choir performed a few very prettily arranged pieces, their voices gentle and soft and harmonious, and the whole evening was rounded off with the Twelve Days of Christmas – with the audience singing Five Gold Rings in ascending volume with each roundel.
It really cheered me up, and put me at last into a Christmas mood. I had been struggling to get in any way even interested in Christmas for weeks, almost becoming irritated at all the commercialism in the shops, the tawdry street lights and the senseless rush and bustle of Christmas shoppers. It made me realise that life can be sweet, if you just let it be. I have re-read a few of my recent blogs and I do sound a bit of a moody cow, don’t I. I could even put some of those Grumpy Old Women to shame. So for a few days at least I will try to be more positive. A bright and cheerful Catherine, if you will. I hope you appreciate what I am doing for you, dear readers – being cheerful does not come so easily to me I am afraid. My default mode is quiet reflection with a dash of pessimism, as I think you must know by now.
Hey ho! Let’s try happy for a bit.