Wednesday 22nd June
I have always considered myself pretty ordinary looking; no film star but not exactly ugly either. I am also a reasonable weight, managing as I do to eat whatever I feel like at every opportunity I never really seem to get any larger (waist size has very gradually increased from a late teen 28 to a comfortable mid-sixties 32/34). And yet I am amazed, especially having been back in England for a couple of days at how many ugly people, especially men, there are walking around. And even more surprisingly they don’t seem to lack attention from the opposite sex.
I travelled on the DLR about four times and I seemed to be surrounded by men in their thirties or forties with thick-set stocky bodies, no necks and bald heads. And quite a few of these had not unattractive but often slightly podgy women smiling on their arms and seeming to look lovingly upon these fleshy and bulbous faces. Having lived now for over a year in France I am struck by the difference in appearance. You do see overweight people but they appear to be quite old, almost everyone under fifty is slim (it is only the English who appear slightly larger) – maybe it is the smoking, often in the time it takes them to down a strong espresso they can fill an ashtray with three cigarettes. But I rarely see a stocky bald French man, you know – the ones whose heads seem to emerge neckless from their thick shoulders and are smooth and rounded with just a tiny nose and ears as any sort of adornment to break up the symmetry. One imagines that these Englishmen are all footie supporters and work as builders but surprisingly quite a lot were suited and booted and probably work in Finance in the City.
And standing, waiting for a seat, it suddenly hit me just why these men are considered attractive to the opposite sex. They are literally wearing their penises on their shoulders; their bald smooth rounded shiny pates resemble nothing less than an erect (if rather short) dick. Just an observation – no criticism intended, but next time you see one of these (what I would consider ugly) men, have a look and see if you too can see the resemblance.