Wednesday 11th July
Is it the weather, which never seems to really improve day after day? Maybe it is the news, the constant battle to prop up the Euro, the daily slanging match in Parliament, but I am just so tired lately. I wake up tired, and yet I had lain awake in the night, willing sleep on myself to no avail. It isn’t as if life is particularly hard, it has been much tougher in the past, it just seems that everything is pure repetition. I am a hamster stuck in a wheel of repetitious tasks which mean nothing and leave me irritated that I am still doing the same things so many years after I had resolved again and again to shed this tired skin and start living again. And when I look around me, we are all the same, tired worn out faces on the tube, we are all hamsters going round and round on our own little wheels, seeming incapable of either stopping the wheel or our own pathetic scampering. Is there no other way then? At times one envies the reckless young, who having nothing to lose go trekking over the world, or just drift from town to town, from job to job, a few carrier bags contain their life story. But maybe they are just on a different treadmill themselves, who knows. I just have to get on with it I suppose. It is called Modern life, and there is almost no escaping it.