Friday 19th August
I find that I am really enjoying writing at the moment. This blog, I mean. This daily little message from me to you, well, to how ever many of you there may be out there reading it. And that is part of the excitement – the not really knowing if anyone is reading. When I was writing the book, Catherine’s Story, I was so engrossed in the making a thing out of it, you know, a real story, that it was actually almost hard work. I used to get up quite early around five-thirty and with a pot of black coffee, would carefully re-read yesterday’s writing. Then I would start to edit yesterday’s piece slightly, not really changing the meaning, just a bit of punctuation. Watching that not too many sentences started with an and (a bad habit of mine), maybe exchanging a word that sounded a bit too hackneyed with something a bit more original, sometimes getting rid of a whole sentence, or expanding one slightly. Then a third re-read or a fourth until I was happy. This also managed to get me into the “zone”, I became focused enough to carry on and write some more. But I was always conscious of the need to carry the story somewhat, I couldn’t let my characters wander off, I had to keep them and especially the me, the Catherine of the story, corralled. I also had to think a chapter or so ahead all the time, and try to steer events that way. So, although I was creating it, it also was controlling me to an extent too. I could never really relax with it. And the anxiety, the worry of what people would think, whether I would actually finish it, and the biggest fear of all, of course, was it any good? Because foremost of my concerns was always that it should be good, or reasonably good, at any rate. Oh, now that it is published I can see so many errors, I wish I could sit down and re-write the whole wretched thing, but it is too late for that now. Far too late; it will have to sink or swim on its’ own now. Hopefully you will throw it a friendly life jacket or two before it slips under the waves.
Now, with this blog, I can write whatever I like, and it doesn’t matter.
So, blibbity-blibbity-blob to you!!!
Sorry, I’ll try not to be so skittish tomorrow. Promise.