Tuesday 8th November

Mrs. May slides the white folder containing the signed document triggering Article 50 across the green baize topped table.  Donald Tusk, with Jean-Claude Juncker by his side, pushes it to one side and slides his own dark blue folder towards Mrs. May.

He speaks “Mrs. May, thank-you, but before we accept this document we would ask you to consider this proposal.  Instead of spending two miserable years arguing and compromising over the terms of your withdrawal we would like you to consider spending that time, or indeed as long as you like, in a constructive discussion with us.  We suspect that the British People’s dissatisfaction with and eventual vote to leave, the European Union may be resolved if certain issues are addressed.  We have no Agenda at all – and no red lines either.  Nothing is absolutely sacred; we are prepared to imagine any future arrangement you may propose for Britain’s continued membership of the EU.

“In fact we are well aware that there is considerable unhappiness in several countries with the current EU.  We are prepared to ‘re-write the rules’ for all members, or just for yourself; if that is what you wish.  We can happily encompass a completely different membership for the U.K., one where everyone can continue trading and increasing the well-being of citizens of both your country and Europe.

“I would like to take this opportunity to express our continued appreciation of Britain’s membership of the Union, you always have been a most important and valued member – and we would wish you to re-consider your decision to leave.”

Mrs. May slides the blue folder to one side and much to the amazement of Phillip Hammond, sitting at her side, she slides the white folder back in front of Donald Tusk and says “Let’s get on with this, shall we?”