Wednesday10th August 2011

Well, apologies for yesterday.  As you can see, it made my blood boil – just somewhat!!  The waste, I suppose, and the pointlessness of it all.  And yes I do remember living there.  They say that love is blind, well I must have been truly besotted not to have taken stock and refused to return night after night to Amhurst Road and those nightmarish mansion blocks.  Where on earth was my reason, where was my self-respect?  Or was I so in love that I was incapable of seeing around me – the desolation, the despair and the waste of human potential.  Or was I as trapped as all the other residents; Adrian by his previous homelessness and need for a roof over his head and I by my stubborn refusal to let Grandma see she had won, that she had beaten me.  More fool me, you may be thinking.

But no, maybe I had to go through all of that in order to emerge the other side.  And it also, of course, taught me a lesson.  And that was that I would never end up there again, or anywhere like it.  I worked hard and took my opportunity, when it appeared, to make sure I was financially secure.  And I make no apologies for that at all.  None whatsoever.

We all in our own ways have to learn to survive.