Thursday 26th January

Not my words, I can assure you, but those of a friend.  I have both lived with a man and am now without one, and until the right one comes along I will remain without one – so imagining does not come into it. I have however never had a dog, so this particular attachment is not precious to me, though given the immediate choice, a dog does seem to hold more appeal.

My friend, who I will not embarrass by naming, has been married three times, and has had numerous liaisons in-between too.  So, she has probably rarely been without a man herself.  She has two dogs, and assures me that when one dies she replaces it with another with as little delay as possible.

One has to wonder though what value she really puts on the relationships she has with either.  Are the men as interchangeable as the dogs, even though the dogs may be easier to replace; maybe if one is not too discerning then the men may be easily replaceable too.

I find it far harder to strike up friendships which may lead to something else though.  Maybe just my natural reticence, maybe a fatal flaw in my personality, but I just do not strike up friendships with people.  I need to get to know them slowly, before committing myself.  And that may also explain why I have never had a dog, that instant affection which people experience when they see a little puppy face seems to be somewhat lacking in me, I am always that little bit too cautious, too much consideration and not enough impulse, and then the moment, or the possibility of a moment, is gone.

So I remain here without either a man or a dog, though little puddy-tat is probably thankful for the lack of both.