Monday 14th May

Don’t you just hate self-believers; you know, where they are all so sure of themselves, so certain of their ideas, so full of ambition and a desire to succeed, and above all else a burning sense of self-righteousness.  I have heard this expressed above all else in sport, where winning is everything, coming second is losing.  Do they really carry this attitude into all aspects of life; the guy who gets the prettiest girl is king, the rest are schmucks, the man (or less likely – the woman) who get to be CEO is a success, mere heads of division are bums.  But you see, we cannot all be winners, and in that case why should we all strive to be.  And anyway how do you really measure success, is it in the number and quantity of material possessions, is it in the number of sexual conquests you have made, is it in the size of your home, the size of your bank balance, the number of medals you have won, or should we not be looking for something a bit more subtle; how many people really like you, how many people you have helped in all sorts of small ways, how much time you have given to pleasing others, or even less obvious things like how much you have understood the pain of others, how many books you have read and enjoyed, how quietly and unobtrusively you have lived your little life.

Does diffidence count for nothing, does uncertainty not have a place too; do we all have to know unerringly what we want to achieve in life, or can failure (in the worlds eyes) count for nothing.  If one has simply lived one’s life as best one could without causing too many waves, without breaking many hearts, with a touch of kindness, with a propensity to give ground, to defer to those noisier and greedier than one, quietly and unassuming but understanding life and it’s sleights, are these uncertain and hesitant attributes not far more valuable than all the self-confident winners of this world.

So, amidst all the bombastic self-praise and self assertiveness, let’s hear it (or not – if you choose not to) for diffidence, for amidst all the disappointment of those achievers who did not quite reach their goals, neither did we diffident ones, mind you, we never expected to anyway.