Friday 10th February
The other day I was on a tube train, minding my own business, when a fairly smart man happened to sit next to me. He placed his briefcase on his lap, clicked open the two brass clasps, and opened it. I couldn’t help but notice that inside everything was so neat and tidy, pens all filed in a row, laptop neatly folded in its little protective grey folder, his kindle in a smart black leather case to one side and a notepad to the other, and there were a few papers all neatly clipped with those little plastic coloured paperclips that are so common nowadays. It was all as one would expect really, no surprises, everything neatly arranged, compartmentalised, a place for everything and everything in its place. He checked a couple of papers, glanced at the large dial gold watch on his wrist, then took out his kindle, and gently shut his case, and relaxed. By complete co-incidence just opposite me, a young woman dashed onto the train and slumped down in her seat. She had a smart and large and probably very expensive Mulberry handbag, almost the size of a large carrier bag which she set down on the seat next to her. Rummaging furiously she took out one thing after another, but rather than set them down beside her she tossed them back in the bag as rejects, in and out came her unprotected and scratched laptop, her case-less kindle, her credit card folder, her oystercard, her bulging purse, an umbrella, a bunch of keys, then she found what she was looking for her make-up bag. Without any apparent embarrassment she flipped open the compact mirror, and proceeded to apply foundation, eye shadow, lip gloss, eye-liner, and a dusting of powder. Absolutely oblivious to any looks she might be receiving she performed this private ritual right out in full view of the whole carriage. She then tossed the make-up bag into the large Mulberry handbag, then as if suddenly remembering something started rummaging again, this time for her mobile phone.
I am not saying that men are always organised and smart, or that women are all ditsy, and lack the most basic ideas of decorum, at all. But men do seem to be able to compartmentalise their lives far better than we women seem able to. Maybe we are busier, or are expected to be so many things nowadays to be successful, and of course men do not wear make-up. But if they did I am fairly certain that they would plan to get up that half hour earlier to accomplish the task, and certainly wouldn’t dream of putting it on in a tube carriage.
No conclusions of course can really be drawn from this; it was after all, just one man and one woman. But next time you are on a tube train, just look around, do a bit of people watching and see if you can spot the difference between a man and a woman.