Sunday 2nd March

I used to love History at school, and even began to study it for “A” level, before my obsession with Art took over and I practically stopped even attending classes.  And I can remember well the Crimean War of 1851 (was it?) or thereabouts.  When the threat of the Russian Bear gobbling up the poor Turkish Ostrich meant that the English Bulldog closely followed by the French Poodle came to the rescue.  The war was a disaster and is most famous for the Charge of the Light Brigade, when the Cavalry got mown down by the Russkies.  Funnily enough I can’t actually remember the result, but in those days Wars were more set-piece affairs, with a few battles to show off one’s prowess and then the inevitable peace talks.  It was probably a score-draw in the end.  Russia wanted a major Black Sea port and I think they just took the Crimea and left the rest of the Ukraine in Turkish or Austrian hands.  I do remember that it was here that the famous Balaclava came into it’s own.  I had one as a child and a very useful piece of protective clothing it was in the winter of ’63.

And so History has a nasty habit of repeating itself.  After the ructions in Kiev when the then Russian leaning President was ousted and fled, and a new more radical Government took over it went quiet for a few days but now Russia has started to fight back.  Unmarked troops have taken over the airports and a few key buildings and there are reports that plane-loads of Russian troops are landing in the Crimea.  Even though Russia officially recognizes the Ukraine as a sovereign state they do have a large naval base in Sevastopol.  (Much like the Americans have military bases here in Sovereign UK)  And now Putin has asked the Russian Parliament to allow him to deploy Russian Troops in the Ukraine.  This is solely in order to protect Russian speaking citizens who are being threatened by the European leaning mob in Kiev, you must understand.  No-one could possibly imagine that Russia has any territorial ambitions in the Ukraine.  And America blusters on the sidelines, and we bluster even more ineffectually too.  No-one wants to send our troops to the Ukraine, even though we have promised to defend the country if it were ever attacked.  So, there will be an escalating crisis and the Crimea and one or two other Provinces next to the Russian border will see Russian troops on the ground.  The West will call for calm and the Ukrainians in Kiev will cry but will not fight.  A sort of stasis will emerge and sooner or later referenda will be held in these provinces and they will call for a new Eastern Ukraine to be established.

Russia 2, The West 0.  And everyone will be happy, and by the way all the Russian troops are wearing Balaclavas too.