My capable friend and I

Wednesday 1st February

We all cope in our different ways, whether it is a leaking tap or a friend’s illness. I have a very capable friend, in fact in many ways she is amazing; nothing fazes her, simply nothing. She is never stuck for an answer, if she doesn’t already know the solution, she knows someone who will know. If it is something she has never come across before she is straight-away on the computer and seems to know as if by some divination exactly which words to type into the search engine. And in minutes she has the solution; there she is bright and breezy with all the platitudes she can muster, ready to sort out any disaster large or small. But I wonder if somewhere deep down there is the tiniest bit of self-doubt, or is the persona she exudes the person she really is, is she really so absolutely capable and self confident the whole time.

Me, I react quite differently, I take my time for a start, and mull things over and maybe, just possibly I work it out over time. Or maybe I don’t; some things I do not manage to resolve in any satisfactory way at all.  And the sky hasn’t fallen in yet. The leaking tap can drip a bit longer until I decide if a plumber or a washer is required. And if I hear of a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer, I do not rush to the PC and print off reams of the latest advice, the latest possible remedies and treatments, the hopes for the future, the best hospitals to get them into. No, I go and make a pot of tea, and sit down to think. I slip on a CD, maybe Delius or Dvorak, or some piano music by Chopin. I may even pick up a novel for a few minutes, just to divert my thoughts, I may pull out some photo’s of my friend and try to remember the good times we had. The only positive thing I may do is to find out if she is in hospital and when the visiting times are. And I think, I think about the fragility of life, about the fact that we are constantly let down by our bodies, and yet how wonderful we all are too despite our failings and frailties, and I may even write a note to them. That is how I cope with disasters, sitting here on my sofa stroking little puddy-tat and thinking about our lives.