Thursday 25th August

-[And are you any nearer understanding those particular whys?  Please don’t tell me that you have reverted to thinking there must be a God.  You know that was disproved conclusively in the thirties.]-

No William, My Atheism is too hard-wired into my thinking, but if you start from a blank sheet of paper, the theory of some over-arching intelligent ‘creative’ force is as valid as anything else we might dream up.  The more interesting question is for what purpose?  Why does the Universe exist at all, why atoms, why particles, why do the Laws of Physics work the way they do.  Why go to all that trouble, what is the purpose of it all?

-[ I am sure that one day we may indeed know the answer to all of these questions. Janek.  Hypercoms are learning more and more every day.  Given the progress made to date, it must only be a matter of time before we know all the whys.   Maybe we should just concentrate on improving ourselves, our thinking abilities, our species – so that we are indeed ready for the answer to those why’s when they come.]-

Still hung up on this Eugenics crap I see Willy.  Maybe I should call you ‘Will of the Wisp’ – you are off with the fairies, after all.  Yes, you may be able to make people think faster, clearer, more like a machine, but that isn’t really evolution is it?  Evolution, as you rightly preach, is all around us; it is happening whether we like it or not.  And just as in that film, what was it called ‘2000 (and something) – a space oddity’ wasn’t it?  Where some other species planted some seed in our primitive ape brains, that fast-forwarded our evolution, maybe we are attempting the same thing.

-[I don’t recall ever seeing that film.  But is it such a terrible thing, if we give a nudge to mankind, if we bump them along the evolutionary scale a bit?]-

It isn’t for me to say whether it is good or bad.  Anyway, you fuckers are doing it, regardless of my opinion.  I am not sure though, that you will like the results.  For a while back there I was ‘super-clever’, when I was conjoined, when I could think so much quicker than before.  You must have noticed just what a shitty person I had become too; all that so-called ‘knowledge’, that ability, that clarity of thought made me a pretty poor excuse for a person.  Or don’t you think?

 -[There was a noticeable change in your personality I must admit.  You were flying so much higher than me, I couldn’t always follow you.  But surely, even if there are personality changes, maybe that is a price worth paying.]-

Now where have I heard that phrase before?  That’s the excuse everyone makes.  The point I am making Dear William, is that personality, all of our unique and wonderful personalities are what make us the creatures we are.  Faster, brighter, cleverer, the equal of Hypercoms – all fine attributes, that might or might not have happened anyway, but can you evolve our personalities too.  Or like the mist in the mornings will it be burned away by the clear burning sun of cold Hypercom reason.

-[Well that has of course been considered, but really it is a bit late to be worrying about that now, isn’t it?]-

Possibly far too late, especially for me.   When I am asleep though, something remarkable happens.  I become me again.  It is as if this year hasn’t happened at all.  I get up in my luxury apartment, watch Disnews, say goodbye to Cathy, hop on the tubeline and am whisked away to work.  Nothing bad has happened to me, no running away with mad old Scotsmen, no being beaten, pissed on by the seaside, no bugger up my arse.  And no conjoining either, no super intelligence, no nappy-pissing wreck.  I am just Janek.  That’s all, just me.

-[Well.  You must remember though that it was actually you that started this whole chain of events, you are not quite as innocent as you might like to believe.]-

I do know that.  I am quite aware of my own complicity.   And actually the more I consider things I don’t know that any of this is helping either of us William.  I am getting tired again, my headache is starting up; I need my sleep.  I will try to think about our conversation.  This one, all of them, in fact the whole conversation we have been having our entire lives together William, even long before we knew each other.  So to speak.  Let me go now, please.  I need to sleep, I need to think.