This morning I felt so awful

Sunday 29th April

You do get those mornings every so often, when completely out of the blue, you wake up feeling awful.  It may be partly physical, a sort of exhaustion settling on one; exhausted of life, of the treadmill, of the sheer nonsense of it all.  But it is probably mostly in one’s head, maybe a disturbed night with violent or just bad dreams, but for some reason you just feel awful. You slouch down stairs, the cords of your dressing gown trailing behind you and cannot wait to slump down on the sofa.  You grope for the remote, why isn’t it where I left it last night, ah here it is under the cushion.  You flick through the channels, the cartoons and re-runs and breakfast programmes with their cheery presenters on bright red sofa’s.  For a moment you glance at the weather, but those dark swirling clouds over southern England make you switch to News 24, oh no, sports review again and Sky News has adverts so you switch off and haul yourself to the kitchen where last night’s sad little plate and knife and fork are waiting to be washed up.  You flick the switch on the kettle, which instantly boils as it is almost completely dry.  Over to the sink to fill it up and you don’t quite line up the spout with the tap (I know you should always take the lid off to fill a kettle but really who does) and get splashed by cold water. Eventually you have a cup of tea, and slowly start to feel a bit better.    You read your e-mails, lots of adverts for upcoming events you know you will never attend, bargain CDs – when you have loads un-played on your shelf, and estate agents still sending you stuff from France when you only expressed a mild interest in the first place.  Post the blog and a quick look on Facebook then you close the connection, finish the dregs of your tea.  Upstairs and ablution time.  You emerge clean, emptied of yesterdays detritus, in a nice fluffy white towel and now things start to look better.  In fact you cannot quite remember why you felt so bad, you open the curtains and there peeping through fluffy white clouds is the sun.  Better dry my hair and get out for my morning walk.