The Death of Madamoiselle

Friday 13th January

In the small town of Cesson-Sevigne in Brittany they have officially forbidden the use of the term Madamoiselle.   The argument is that women should no longer be delineated by their marital status, and in terms of equality with men this is a no-brainer; nobody even wonders whether Monsieur is married or single, but the term Mademoiselle automatically confers on a female the label ‘unattached’ or ‘available’ or even worse if she is of a certain age ‘unwanted’.  I think that the derivation can be traced back to ownership; a woman was literally the property of her father ‘ A Madamoiselle’ until she was handed over to and became the property of her husband ‘Monsieur’.  Often a dowry would accompany her, and her reward for becoming the chattel (and object of sexual gratification) of her husband would be that she became ‘Madame’.  This would obviously have some advantages; her husband would be economically responsible for her, she would gain a degree of respectability in the community, and would be deferred to by shopkeepers as an important person in her own right.

But enough of History, what about the here and now.  Am I the only one to mourn the loss of such a beautiful word, one which incidentally was one of the first which Grandma taught me back in Cyprus?  At the time I am sure I only thought it only meant young lady, but then it was more specific than fille or jeune fille, and did I ever question why there was only garcon and Monsieur, and no equivalent term for an unmarried man such as Madamoiselle; probably not.  It was just the way things were. But derogatory or liberating (take your pick) as a term, it is still a pretty word, as is the English equivalent of Miss, though Mistress has mysteriously disappeared from our vocabulary too, both far nicer than the awful Ms.

A couple of my friends always notice if a woman is wearing a wedding ring, something I never really pick up on; though apparently for predatory men this is an automatic red signal, or for some – actually a green light.  I wonder if in this brave new world of equality the wedding band will go the same way as Mademoiselle and eventually I am sure the term Miss; will a woman simply become a woman, and any connection sanctified by marriage or any other relationship with a man become irrelevant.  I hope not, and for the time being I will still use the term Madamoiselle, if only in my thoughts.