Tuesday 13th December

When I first came to London I was shocked at the rudeness of people.  Having come from a small market town, ‘changeless as canal water’ (Viv Stanshall) where politeness bordered on deference, the right hand automatically rising to, but not quite doffing the cap to ‘important persons; teachers, bank managers, solicitors and doctors’, it was truly a shock that the order of the day here was kick and shove, and make sure you elbow those weaker than you out of the way.  As the bus pulls in any semblance of an orderly queue disintegrates in seconds as the mob surges forward.  On the Underground it is dog eat dog, and the thought of giving up one’s preciously gained seat for a lady, pregnant, old or just a female, is shrugged off and bystanders simply ignore it.  In fact they ignore everything, to speak to another traveler is taboo, even to smile is frowned upon and labels you as some sort of pervert.  Young men sit with legs splayed almost occupying three seats but to complain will possibly result in violence, so, cowed, you try to squeeze into the limited space available.  Of late I have taken to, when shoved out of the way by someone, smile and say ‘Thankyou’.  Not that this is any more successful but at least it makes me feel good (if not a tad sanctimonious).

Here in France we are still in the world of civility.  You say Bonjour Monsieur or Madame to everyone, and they automatically reply with their own smiling Bonjour.  Two or sometimes three cheek kisses are obligatory for people you know. Cars (mostly) seem happy for pedestrians to cross the street.  In shops you wait patiently while the cashier has a friendly conversation with her neighbor; only in the larger Supermarches are you hurriedly served.  But of the triumvirate of Citizen rights “Liberte, Egalite and Fraternite” it is equality that is most respected.  There is no deference here, nothing really approaching the brutal English class system.  Respect maybe, but not that deference, expected and still often granted to our upper classes.  And Civility makes such a difference, even when you are slightly moody and it is raining, the morning dog walk is transformed by those polite smiling ‘Bonjours’.