Monday 4th September

My first school was the infants school, off Walnut Tree Walk, just behind the rec.  I seem to remember that this was a modern building back in the mid-fifties.  The head was Miss Tweddle.  But memory is a funny thing, and I cannot really remember much about this first school or the teachers.  I do remember that we had a story read to us every afternoon, and we were allowed to play with toys on a Friday afternoon. My mum says that I surprised the teachers by having a nap every afternoon, which practice I wish I had continued ever since.

Junior school was what is now known as Chiltern Community Primary School, another new building but I cannot remember what it was called when I went there.  But I do remember spending some time in an old Edwardian school building opposite the infant school.  The lane connecting the two was known colloquially as ‘dogshit alley’ for obvious reasons.  The boy’s toilet was an open-air enclosure in the playground and there was a six-foot wall separating the urinals from the alley.  Our favourite game was to see who could pee over this wall onto unsuspecting passers-by.  One of my teachers was Mrs. Griffiths and the head was Mr. Brooks.  Another teacher, who I disliked was Mrs Drinkwater.  Once she humiliated a boy whose nose was running and he had no hankie.  He was made to stand on a chair at the front of class while all of us laughed as snot ran down his face.  I only realised later how cruel this was.

I think I was quite well-behaved at this time – at least at school.  I cannot remember ever being told off by the head, although we often had a ruler across the knuckles by the teachers.   I also remember one girl who used to pull her knickers down in the playground and show us her bum.  This was exciting, but back then I never knew why – I have been enlightened since and the excitement is still there…just.

One day, with no warning whatsoever the whole of the fourth year were held back after assembly and sat down at desks for an examination.  This was the 11 plus.  Mr. Brooks told us to fill in our papers just as he had written on the blackboard.  At least one boy wrote “Joe Bloggs, 1 Brick Lane”.  Luckily, I was obsessed back then with a TV quiz called “Pit Your Wits” presented I think by Kenneth Kendall, which had word and number games.  I even had the book and used to love working out these conundrums.  The paper was full of similar brain-teasers designed by the boffins at the Ministry of Education to sift the wheat from the chaff.  Chaff though I undoubtedly was I somehow passed.  My parents were even called in by the head as it was such a surprise that I was one of the six out of about 60 who passed.

When I eventually got to talk to other kids who had gone to private schools I learnt that they had all been crammed with mock 11 plus papers for weeks and almost their whole classes passed.  We had no preparation at all.   So it was that the education authorities back in 1962 made sure the right kids got to Grammar school while observing the letter if not the spirit of the Education Act.