Monday 11th September

A friend of ours, Alison, died a couple of weeks ago.  She was far too young.  She had been ill for some time, but her cancer seemed to be responding to treatment.  But it was not to be.  She had expressed an interest in Buddhism in the last few months.  We have a Buddist Temple and Retreat not far from Eymet – the monks and the sisters come into the Café sometimes.  Her husband Joe arranged for her to be visited by some of the sisters while she was in Hospital, and they agreed that Joe could have a Buddhist ceremony for her today (Sunday).

I had visited the main hall a couple of times and was always impressed by the simplicity of the message – that it was a journey of discovery, and finding peace and contentment within oneself was more important than arriving at a specific destination.

The very simple ceremony was held in one of the women’s halls – the hall of the red candle.  There were about thirty of us, sitting, some cross-legged on purple mats on the floor and a few on chairs. The sister leading us explained how Alison had reached out to them in the last few months and how they had found her and helped prepare her for what was to come.  We sat in silence for a few minutes, there was a small flower arrangement and some photos of Alison and a few small candles burning.  Then a few people were invited to speak of their memories of her.  I said nothing, not because I didn’t have anything to say, but I was content to listen and let others speak their thoughts.

A couple of notes rang out from a large bell and we were allowed to stand and greet each other.  Then a slow meditation walk outside to a shrine and we were then invited to take handfuls of her ashes (she had been cremated a few days after her death) and scatter them among the trees and plants.

I haven’t been to that many funerals.  All of them held in Christian churches or crematoria.  They are invariably depressing but I was very impressed by the simplicity of this ceremony and it’s lack of sadness.  The combining of ancient ceremony and a very modern view of the world too; Alison had been too poorly to attend services but had joined in on the internet.  There seems to be a very peaceful element to all of this, everything is done voluntarily, there seem to be no ruling hierarchy laying down the law.  And the sisters were pleasant and welcoming us even though we were from different and sometimes no faiths.

A lovely way to say Goodbye and to think about life and what it has to offer and what we have to offer too.