How to Survive in the 21st Century

Thursday 12th January

This message is for anyone young, born in this Century or just before it; us Oldies can shift for ourselves – either we have a decent pension and somewhere to live or if not we should shuffle off as quick as possible and make way for the new kids on the (chopping) block.

Firstly – get rich.  Not as simple as it sounds maybe.  Rich Mum and Dad will help; you are far more likely to get ahead with wealthy parents.  Rich grandparents will do; get in their doting good books and hope they get something untreatable soon and the money will be yours.  You can always try working….hahaha – but better to start up your own silly company, preferably on-line; borrow as much money from the banks as possible, form a limited company; screw your suppliers and pay them late and make sure you get paid damn quick for whatever you are selling.  The poorer among you should consider porn or escort work, good money to be made, especially from stupid old men; shut your eyes and imagine the punter is some young hunk you really fancy (most of us oldies do that anyway). Theft is getting harder and harder so unless you are some computer geek leave it alone – it’s a mugs game.

Secondly get a good education, or at least the bits of paper that pretend you might have had one.  Remember knowledge is useless, knowing how to access information is all that is important.  Be a good blagger, dress smartly and never hesitate, always agree with those in power, flatter them and lie about your abilities.  And remember to stamp down hard on the hands of those climbing the ladder behind you, you don’t want anyone to overtake you.  Use people before they use you, or better still let them think they are using you while all the while you are really using them.  Learn all the new buzzwords, and be ready to jump ship and learn a new skill; almost every job will be done better by computers one day so try to keep at the cutting edge.

As soon as you can buy a property; money is cheap and rents are high. And as soon as you can up-size and borrow to the max.  You may need the emotional blackmail of screwing your parents for the deposit – but hey, they don’t want to see you homeless and what are they gonna do with all their dosh anyway.

Put off getting married and having sprogs for as long as biologically possible, we almost all succumb in the end, but don’t get bogged down in nappies and shit until you have a house and a nice car and a job.

Give up any childish belief in Religion. How can Donald trump and God exist in the same Universe?  Durghhhh

Remember this – in this wonderful 21st Century it is the greedy and the selfish and the clever who will survive best.  A conscience is just bad luggage, “do unto others before they do it to you”.

Or you could just try and be human…..good luck

Everything Matters, Nothing Matters

Wednesday 11th January

Everything Matters.  Nothing Matters

Everything matters.  We live in an incredibly interconnected world; in fact it is getting harder and harder to live in isolation from the World (even if one wanted to).  And as we are so connected everything we do has an effect, even if we don’t realise it, on other people,  Every time we are rude or aggressive it affects people, that rudeness which is maybe shrugged off makes the world a ruder place.  And likewise every kindness, every smile we bestow, every thank you spreads a little human warmth around.  Every word written, every book read deepens our understanding of humanity.  So, even if we feel powerless against those who rule our world, or the changes we see all around us –we are part of the solution.  We are changing the world with every action we take.

Nothing matters.  I used to keep every book I ever read, and there have been a hell of a lot over the years.  When I sold my London house I went through the multiple boxes and bookshelves and dusty piles in the loft and de-cluttered, throwing out lesser loved tomes but keeping just my favourites, the ones I might one day read again in retirement (haha – as if I would ever find the time).  I reboxed them and took them with me.  Seven years on I am again de-cluttering and keeping around half.  Even these I will never re-read or if I do it will be on kindle. And all of that knowledge, all that ‘wisdom’ I absorbed means nothing – it will die with me.  Nothing matters in the end.  No-one now remembers famous people of even one hundred years ago.  We live in a disposable world.  Fifteen minutes of fame is soon forgotten.  And even as a species we barely matter, when we are gone, and even if we take the planet with us the Universe will hardly blink as it rolls relentlessly on.

So Everything Matters and yet Nothing Matters.  Two seemingly contradictory ideas which are both true and co-exist happily/unhappily together.  Smile (or not) it might matter.

Flying Home

Tuesday 10th January

I am flying home tomorrow.  And home is of course our house in France. I have been back in the U.K. for only three days and cannot wait to get back.  It may be colder, but there is far less wind and rain.  But it is more than that.  I feel so, literally “at home” there, whereas I feel more and more a fish out of water in England.  Who are these people who voted so overwhelmingly for Brexit?  Who are these smart striving young professionals striding along the pavement in their business suits?  I don’t really recognize them and I don’t really recognize my own country any more.  And like so many of our friends out here, if push comes to shove we will become French.

England seems as if it is falling apart at the moment, tube and rail strikes, an NHS in perpetual crisis, a Government that appears to have no sensible plan for Brexit, a Prime Minister who makes bland statements about fairness, but whose Government has made it harder and harder for poorer people to see any future for themselves.  Difficult times call for difficult decisions.  We have had over six years of Austerity which has not only not eliminated or even seriously dented the Deficit but has made the gap between rich and poor far wider.  The only solution is to increase taxes, especially on the more wealthy, and to seriously look at some of our Spending (the replacement for Trident is a good place to start).  We also have to build far more houses, allow councils to borrow on the same terms as the banks (it is called Quantative Easing, but only helps the rich at the moment) to build decent homes for people who have been priced out the market.

I don’t see any improvement for a few years however.  It looks like it is only going to get worse.  I always thought I would live partly in France and partly in England, but that is looking less and less likely now.

Is It Finally Dawning On Us Yet?

Monday 9th January

Probably not.  We are still living in never-never land.  The consequences of our collective stupidity are yet to be felt.  Largely because even though the public has voted – nothing has happened yet.  We haven’t even got any idea yet of the plan for Brexit from our Government.  Six months down the line and we still know nothing.  Even Scotland has produced a feasibility study of various different outcomes of the negotiations and how they think those may affect that country; and consequently what the current Administration led by Nicola Sturgeon may do under various circumstances.  So far from Mrs. May – zilch…and a stubborn refusal to be open with Parliament, to accept any scrutiny.  And yesterday a bland announcement that the “new” Government will be fairer….but importantly – no policies at all.  This is beginning to be a habit….

And in America, Donald Trump has been elected but is yet to assume power.  He has proposed his “team” of retired generals and businessmen and tweets ridiculous comments in the small hours and denigrates anyone who dares to question him.

Last year in Paris a new Climate Change Agreement was reached; basically to try to slow (not to halt or even reverse) the increase in global temperatures, which almost all scientists agree may soon be approaching a tipping point where no matter what we do it will be too late….

Trump doesn’t believe in Global Warming and Mrs. May will be far too busy trying to decide exactly what Brexit means to care….

I really wonder if any of this has dawned on them (or us) yet.

An Evening With David

Sunday 8th January

Last night I spent an evening with David.  David Bowie of course.  BBC2, my favourite channel had a documentary about the last five years of David’s incredible life, followed by the film The Man Who Fell To Earth.

It was wonderful.  To be immersed in David’s world once again, his image and his music, was a privilege.  The documentary had lots of footage of David throughout his career, the Ziggy days, the Thin White Duke, the Berlin years, the pugilist of Let’s Dance, and the final Reality Tour – and then a silence for around 7 or 8 years, and finally his resumption of music-making and the last two albums.  I must say here that I am slowly, and very slowly growing to like the last two records – too shoutty, too noisy and largely not enough good tunes – but still the very fact that seriously ill, he managed to make them at all was incredible.

Then the film; Nicholas Roeg’s masterpiece.  Made in 1976 it was really interesting to re-visit, the brash American cars, the inventions of Newton (Bowie) which have been so superseded by time and technology.  But the performances were still wonderful, especially of course Bowie.  He has never looked more other-worldly, more modern, more brilliant.  I am not even sure he was acting at all; he has always seemed alien, in this world but not of it, able to show us through a distorted mirror  so much about both the World and ourselves.  I am still puzzled by quite a lot of the film, but in the end it didn’t matter.  What a wonderful evening, immersed in and remembering the marvelous David Bowie.

Low

SIPS, SLIPS AND SNIPPETS OF LOVE 17

Saturday 7th January

 Jane never understood a lot of things until she was older, (not like Harriet who saw through things straight away) and as each few years passed she realised a few more.  She never felt, for example, that they were privileged, comfortably off, fortunate never to have to really worry about money, though she later understood that her father must have had to worry all the time; he was good at hiding it; that was all.  He was good at hiding everything though, especially his emotions, and because he hid his worry, always maintaining a calm exterior for the world to see, the girls in their turn never had to worry.  They just took it (and him) for granted, and their mother too with that air of absent-mindedness, as if she was wandering in a permanent daze.  As small girls they never thought about money, or how it was got, or how it was spent, how it grew in some people’s hands and slid away like water in others. That would all come later, but when they were little they just thought everyone else must be like their family.

They lived in quite a big house, but then they never knew anything else, so they never appreciated it at the time. By the time Jane went to prep school she was so used to it, and everyone else at that school came from similar backgrounds so the thought never arose.  It was only when she went to Grammar School and met a few (and not as many as you would have thought) kids from the council houses, that she began to see the way the world divides up its spoils, how some are favoured and others are not.  And even then it didn’t really strike home, she didn’t make close friends with any of those girls, she still referred to them as ‘other girls’; she still clung to her own peer group, the safe world she came from.  It wasn’t until she became a teenager that any thoughts of social justice or poverty or the unfairness of it all ever came to the surface of her consciousness.

*  * *

‘Oh Jane was such a dull old thing sometimes’, thought Harriet; ‘she had to tell her everything, she really had no idea.  She could never work things out for herself, she always had to be shown.’  Harriet didn’t really mind, Jane was quite a quick learner in her way, and she always did what Harriet wanted so that suited her anyway.  But she had these strange ideas about fairness, and how things should be the same for everyone, whereas Harriet knew the world was out there just waiting for her to come along and grab it.  It seemed to her that the cleverer and quicker you were the more of the world you would get, if Jane wanted to sit there and wait for the good fairy to wave her wand and make it all beautiful that was up to her but Harriet wouldn’t wait around for her that was all.  At school Jane never asked questions, she just sat there and took it all in, like some silly dummy.  Harriet knew the answers almost before teacher had asked the questions and was always first with her hand up.  But it really annoyed her sometimes when even if she was the only girl in the whole class with her hand up, the only one who knew, teacher would say in her prissy condescending little voice, “Yes, I know you know the answer Harriet, I am just waiting for someone else to put their hand up.”   ‘What?’ thought little Harriet, ‘I mean, are you stupid or something?  Are you as stupid as all these other fools in the class?  I am the clever one, I know far more than all these idiots, why don’t you ask me the answer?  Well, if you are going to be like that about it I won’t bother anymore.  I won’t answer your stupid questions, even if you ask me.  I really don’t need you to tell me I am clever anyway.  I know that already.’

But being top of the class was important to her, and she made sure she always was.  First in English, first in Maths, gold stars all over her books, little rows of red ticks, that’s what she liked to see.  And her report every year, with words like ‘Excellent Progress’, and ‘Well Behaved’ suited her just fine because Jane had ‘Must Try Harder’ and ‘Lacks Concentration’ all over hers.  She used to watch her sometimes when she came to pick her up if her own class finished early, there she would be her head propped up on her elbow just staring out of the window, in a constant sleepy daze, ‘I mean what was she thinking about, just looking out of the window at a lot of boring fields and trees.’

S – is for Paul Simon, the Early Years

Friday 6th January

It was 1970 and Simon and Garfunkel had a number one album in America and here with Bridge Over Trouble Water.  The Beatles were breaking up, the Stones seemed in some disarray and Paul and Artie were unassailable.  Except – what do you for an encore?  And anyway Paul was getting fed up with Artie’s acting career, which was taking him away from the recording studio, Paul’s favourite place.  So Paul decided to go it alone. He had always had a brilliant voice; but a bit more caustic, a bit more rounded than Arties immaculate sweet high notes.  In fact Paul had already released his own album in the early Sixties ‘The Paul Simon Songbook’, which nobody bought (which is a pity because it is really good; Paul sings simple almost demo versions of songs which would later be recorded by S. & G. on their albums – sometimes I almost prefer these early efforts of Pauls) and he then returned to America (he had been touring for a couple of years unsuccessfully in England) and recorded with Artie.

The first we all knew of the split was when the album ‘Paul Simon’ arrived.  And it was brilliant and yet very different, more upbeat and varied, and with two hit singles ‘Mother and Child Reunion’ and ‘Me and Julio’ but the best song was Duncan; there was even an instrumental with jazz violinist Stefan Grapelli.  Paul quickly followed this up with the equally wonderful ‘ There Goes Rhymin Simon’ (the title a dig at his critics).  This had the fabulous New Orleans tribute ‘Mardi Gras, and every song is a classic, especially ‘St.Judy’s Comet’ and ‘American Tune’.  In many ways this album is as good as Bridge over Troubled Waters, and there are even a couple of gospel/soul classics ‘One Man’s Ceiling Is Another Man’s Floor’ and ‘Loves Me Like A Rock.’  His third album was excellent too, but somehow lacked something, though Paul’s singing has never been bettered; ‘Still Crazy After All These Years’ the title track is sad and swooping and one of his best ballads. The big hit was ’50 Ways to leave Your Lover’ There is an up-tempo duet with Artie ‘My Little Town’ and my favourite song ‘I do it for your love.’

Paul then wrote and starred in and wrote the songs for a film ‘One Trick Pony’.  I never saw the film but the soundtrack is pretty good – but it bombed.  Then came Hearts and Bones, which is sometimes my favourite Paul Simon album of all – this was the one originally recorded with Artie and then Paul wiped his vocals and sung the record himself.  I love the title track and Train in the Distance’ and the tribute to John Lennon ‘The Late Great Johnny Ace’

Many people say that Paul was very selfish and nasty, especially to Garfunkel.  Who cares – the music was wonderful; and always will be. And Paul’s reputation would take another knock with his greatest record…Graceland.

Paul Simon

Limping Through The Winter

Thursday 5th January

It is cold here in Eymet.  There are clear blue skies most days, cold frosty mornings a couple of degrees below freezing.  But by the afternoon, for a precious couple of hours it warms up to around 20 degrees – a warm Spring day in England – but quickly the temperature drops as darkness descends.

And I find, as I and most of our friends out here in South West France are all of a certain age, that we are limping through the Winter.  Most of us are nursing colds which threaten to clear up but never quite manage it; one day you feel better, the next your nose is completely blocked again.  A few of the Restaurants are still closed, and even Le Pub Gambetta has no music for the second Friday running so it is a case of an evening meal and then hunkering down in front of the telly.

And we console ourselves with thoughts of Summer, and as the calendar slowly fills up with family and friends bookings we think about the long warm evenings eating out in the park, live music and Gourmande evenings all around, wine and oyster festivals, Medieaval banquets and all the fun of living here in the Summer.

It won’t be long now before Spring arrives, crocuses and snowdrops poking their little heads out of the earth – and then the daffodils, my favourite flowers.  But till then for a few more weeks we continue to limp along, that little stone of Winter persistently stuck in our heavy shoes….we must console ourselves with the knowledge that without the cold of Winter we would not appreciate the warmth of the Summer.

There May Be Trouble Ahead

Wednesday 4th January

Europe, and our relationship with the EU has been a running sore in both the Tory and Labour parties for at least a generation.  There was a time when it seemed that we were settled with both major parties largely in favour of Europe; a few mavericks shouting from the sidelines but nobody seriously thinking there was any chance of us leaving.  But now things look very different indeed.  An electorate which has decided marginally that we should leave and a Parliament with a majority in favour of remaining and yet both major parties agreeing that the referendum result must be obeyed.  Even Theresa May was until a few months ago quite happy for us to be in the EU, and yet she is now going to be the one negotiating our departure.  There is bound to be trouble ahead.

Labour are in a real mess.  The feeling is that Jeremy, though unassailable in the party is un-electable.  Their poll ratings are slipping with every new poll and even a new leader (wherever and however they might emerge) may be incapable of winning in 2020.  There is bound to be trouble ahead.

Donald Trump has not even been inaugurated yet, but with every tweet he is sowing panic and confusion into an already volatile situation.  Nobody has any idea, least of all Donald it would seem, just what his Presidency will look like.  There is bound to be trouble ahead.

And meanwhile the two biggest problems facing the world are blatantly ignored.  Global Warming is being sidelined and the deniers are now in control of the White House.  And the only solution anyone can think of is to borrow more money.  We have learnt nothing from the Financial Crash of 2008, credit is booming again; fueled by low interest rates individuals, corporations and countries are simply borrowing more and more money to shore up a crumbling system.  There is bound to be trouble ahead.

But hey, let’s look on the bright side…..er, what bright side?

Turkey – the Gateway to Europe

Tuesday 3rd January

Turkey has always been a problem.  For two hundred, years or more British Foreign Policy has been to try to keep the Turks on our side, or at least not on Russia’s side.  Russia has always had a geographical problem, although it is the largest country on Earth it is mostly in the far North, or landlocked.  Archangel to the West and Vladivostock to the East are ice bound for months, and it is only in the far South, in fact on the Black Sea that Russia has a gateway to the Mediterranean.  That was one of the main reasons for unilaterally annexing the Crimean peninsula.  In the old days of the Soviet Union the Ukraine was part of the USSR but after the collapse of Communism the Ukrainians wanted and got independence.  That was okay as long as they remained in the Russian sphere of influence, but about a decade ago their leaders started leaning far more to the West, wanting in fact to join the EU and NATO.

But in the game of international chess NATO had already wooed Turkey over to our side.  Turkey straddles the entrance to the Black Sea, and strategically that meant that if NATO wanted to it could lock the Russians in.  Turkey has always played Russia against the West, and once again it is being wooed by Russia, this time ostensibly over Syria.  For a while Turkey was playing hard to get, technically opposed to ISIS (though rumours abounded that Erdogan’s son was shipping ISIS oil through Turkey) but the Turks also hated the Syrians.  Though they hated the Kurds even more, especially as in both Iraq and Syria the Kurds were proving to be the best fighters, and of course the Kurds had been fighting for their own homeland which would include a small but sizeable chunk of East Turkey.  The EU, keen to staunch the flow of Syrian refugees flooding through Turkey into Greece and Bulgaria and beyond are currently paying them billions of euros to keep the refugees in camps in Turkey.  Now (despite planes shot down and ambassadors shot) Russia and Turkey are getting cosy again.

Enter Donald Trump into the equation….

I suspect that he will be willing to give Russia a free hand in the Ukraine and maybe even the Baltic states as long as America can rule the West.  At least the war in Syria may soon be over, but much as you cannot trust Russia, it is really Turkey that is the key to peace in the Middle East, and maybe the whole world….